I love yellow. He hated it — he wanted orange walls instead.
I love flowers. He hated them — why bother when they’re just going to die?
I love fine china. He hated it — plastic didn’t break when he dropped it.
I love Paris. He hated it — and the “frogs” who called the lily pond home.
I love diamonds. He hated them — they’re forever, but they’re not free.
I love a ‘lived in’ house — He hated it — ‘messy’ made him uncomfortable.
And now I’m sitting here in my golden-yellow dining room — incredible lilacs on the table set with my favorite Lenox pattern — enjoying the Coq Au Vin I learned to make at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris. And I sparkle like the diamonds on the ring finger of my right hand as I celebrate his absence.
I think my sister, the Black Widow spider — queen of her messy, haphazard domain — has it right. Once her mate has done his manly duty — once the tingles have run up and down all eight of her legs and the thrill is gone — so is he.
She just devours him.
No fighting. No lawyers. No spousal support.
And her web can be however the hell she wants it to be.