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Shut, Sesame!

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“Oh! You’re hot!”  Hmmm … for some reason I was thinking “excuse me” is the proper response when one, while rounding a corner, accidentally collides with another — particularly with a married other. But what do I know? I’m just an old dinosaur; and with that big stick firmly lodged up my butt, it’s already a little crowded — no room for a married winkie in the other compartment. Silly me. It seems that among quite a few of us, however,  there’s nothing wrong with spreading our legs for a man married to someone other than ourselves (for at least one of us, a man whose wife lay at home dying of cancer). And there’s nothing wrong, for that same one of us, with becoming his baby mama and publishing a book chronicling the whole smutty story for those of us who care to share.  A book which, by the way, details their trysts for his older children, she says,  “so they can know the truth” about their dead mother, her marriage to their father and why she (the author) stepped in to rescue him from her. Oh,  and so that she can finally achieve the celebrity status that has eluded her until now. I think I’ll be giving her book a big miss.

Yes, we all know who I’m talking about, but I will certainly not mention her name here.  I don’t want readers so badly that I’ll have my blog come up when her name or his are googled.

Female persons (sorry, those of you to whom I’m referring I won’t call sisters — because you’re not.  And, certainly, I won’t abuse the word ladies either), today I’m screaming at you; sometimes we need to remedy or remove an ‘attractive nuisance’ so men have no choice but to fix themselves. I’ll go back to yelling at them another day.

But back to you, girls — exactly what are you thinking when you pursue a relationship with a married man? Are you thinking at all?  Men have a quasi-excuse — God split their intellectual capacity between two brains. Sometimes, especially when they’re already starting out with peanut hulls, they lack the capacity to think clearly. But what’s your excuse?

What’s that he said? His wife doesn’t understand him? They’ve fallen out of love? That sounds like an issue the two of them should be discussing with their therapist.  What does that have to do with you?  The man is married!

Oh, his marriage is dead? But he can’t afford a divorce? Or he wants a divorce, but he’s waiting for the right time? Or he’s not getting a divorce after all; but he’s only staying for the children? What does any of that have to do with you?  The man is married!

Oh, poor thing — his wife cut him off? Or he’s tired of cake every night and he wants to switch it up and try pie? Or his is an open marriage (hmmm … wonder if his wife’s marriage is open, too)? Honey, what does any of that have to do with you?  The man is still married!

That man’s dipstick has an engine it belongs in — and it ain’t yours!

But I have another, deeper question for you. Assuming you’re looking for more than a romp in the hay and that — for whatever masochistic reason — you want a future with this jackass, what thought have you given to his character? At the very least, we know he’s a liar (unless, of course, your affair exists in some alternate universe in which he goes home to his wife and tells her about his adventures in your velvet cosmos). We certainly know he’s a cheating sonofabitch. Surely you’re not fooling yourself that yours is the magical snatch that’s going to resurrect his faithfulness? Should you be so unlucky as to marry him — by the way, odds are against that happening — guess who he cheats on next? Yes, sunshine!  Seems you’re brighter than I thought you were.

What’s that you say? Please tell me you didn’t go there.  He’s the one who’s married — why am I blaming you? Well, it’s very simple. Your twat is not Ali Baba’s thieves’ cave.  Just because the scumbag whispers “open sesame” in your ear, doesn’t mean your legs have to part and let him in. Show him that you are better than the company you keep — and that while he might be lacking character, that flaw is not contagious.

Respect yourself — and the sister who was so unfortunate as to fall in love and marry him.

Oh — and the movie about you-know-who (yes, we all know it’s coming)?  I’ll be giving that one a big miss, too.

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About PD Williams

Writer - primarily humorous women's fiction. My secret agenda is to help men become in actuality the visions they think they already are. I point out their many flaws in the kindest, gentlest, most supportive way I know -- gotta protect those fragile male egos -- so we can stop wasting our energy trying to change them. After all, as women, we have more important things to do.

10 responses »

  1. You know when i have more time i will be getting in on this one!

    Reply
  2. I only have a minute from my Iphone, Think about this from a mans point of view. Guy meets a woman she says she is married and he replies ” great! because if its a good marriage I can’t hurt it. And if its a bad marriage I can help it” now let me buy you a drink. game over…

    Reply
    • And as long as it stops with that drink, fine. But once she gets involved romantically with him, Pete, she’s a whore (as is he for having continued soliciting her knowing that she’s married). While by some definitions it might indeed be different, by mine one of the basic tenets of marriage is fidelity. If a spouse can’t respect the trust that their partner has placed in them, they need to be up front about it. If the partner says “yes,dear it would be selfish of me to keep you all to myself; go forth and spread your legs the love,” then fine; they agree; no one gets hurt. Otherwise … game over.

      Reply
  3. Great post! I love the concept of your blog and applaud you for attempting to help men perfect themselves in a gentler and kinder way. Unfortunately, there will always be desperate (and screwed up) women out there who are always willing to give up the cookie to any man they come across (married or not). Changes in men will most definitely happen when these types of women stop playing the “pussy is power” game.

    Reply
  4. Deralyn Boyd

    Very well written. We just don’t stop and think about what all is involved before we make that move. It is all about me, who care about who get hurt in the end.

    Reply
  5. Why does it bother me?

    This made me laugh in several places. I like angry you! I also don’t get those women who do this, then complain when he does the same to them, reap what you sow ladies… reap what you sow…

    Reply

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