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Brains! Less Brains!?

I’m one of the fortunate ones. Twice in my life I’ve found men who valued the big I’s — intelligence and independence — over goo-goo eyes. Unfortunately, those two great men — sufficiently confident in their own masculinity to not only refrain from shackling me, but to encourage my flight — are no longer with us. I am single. But having been so blessed already, I’m not holding my breath awaiting lightning’s third strike.

Charming the prince’s tighty-whities off in exchange for half his kingdom has never been one of the tools in my box. I’d much rather engage in a spirited debate than to smile, flutter my eyelashes and pretend a man is smarter than he is. If he really wants me to respect his mind (and, trust me, this comes long before I give a rat’s crack about his money or his dangling mini-me), his work is cut out for him — and he knows this at the outset. I’m not going to roll over and spread my legs because I need what’s in his wallet. I don’t. And so many of my contemporaries are much the same. We’ve decided that we’re enough — and that if a good man wants to join us — that works. But we won’t devalue ourselves to make it happen.

Following is a fabulous piece I read this evening. I have no clue how to “reblog,” so I’ll just post the link for you.

Enjoy!

Ladies, The Smarter You Are,
The More Likely You Are To Be Single

Blog Award!

You like me?  You really, really like me?

Imagine my surprise when I opened my e-mail to an announcement  from one of my buddies: “Putting your blog on blast!” It seems he’d nominated me for a Versatile Blogger Award!  No, it’s not as prestigious as a Pulitzer, but it is  equally priceless.  It means my colleagues — and readers — like my work.  Duh! Isn’t that the reason I write?

For the life of me I can’t remember how I found his advice blog,  Break It Down Pete.  But I can tell you how glad I am that I did.  You won’t find any namby-pamby-oh-you-poor-thing-crybaby-hand-holding here. A former marine, he tells it like you’d damned well better see it — for your own good. And I love it.

Oops! Back to the Versatile Blogger Award.  Here is what I’m to do: (a) thank the person who nominated me, (b) tell you seven things about me and (c) share with you some of the new-to-me blogs I enjoy.

Hmmm … seven pieces of potential blackmail fodder, huh?

#7 – I love purses. Purses are a lot like men.  You find a great one – you know, big, strong, good-looking – and you keep it ‘til it reaches the end of its useful life.  I know some of you like to have several and wear them on your arm interchangeably, but I’m a basic one-at-a-time-keep-him-’til-you-wear-him-out-or-’til-he-wears-out-his-welcome kind of woman.

#6 – I love food.  Food is a lot like men. Mmmm … the sight, the aroma, the flavor.  While I enjoy a quick snack now and again, my preference is to relax and savor.  The very thought is deliciously salivating.

#5 – I love dogs.  Dogs are a lot like men. Find an exceptional one, train him properly and you’ve got a companion for life.  But be careful.  Some of them will bite you and piss on your leg.  Leave those jackasses where you find them.

#4 – I love books. Books are a lot like men.  Some are overflowing with wisdom, many are a waste of time.  But even from the most useless of them, we learn something – even if only how to be more selective.

#3 – I love music. Music is a lot like men. Its melodies and rhythms can spirit you away to another world or it can be a cacophony that just grates on your last friggin’ nerve. Unfortunately, you never know which you’ve got until you actually hit “play.”

#2 – I love cars. Cars are a lot like men.  They can be big, slow and powerful.  Or they can be small, fast and powerful. Note the common adjective. If they have no get-up-and-go you’ve got to get up and go get a new one.

And (drum roll, please) …

#1 – I can tie a knot in a maraschino cherry stem using just my tongue.  I know ;-). But I celebrate all my skills – useful or ‘knot.’

Following are some of my favorite new blogosphere discoveries.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.  

http://www.angryrantdotcom.wordpress.com  – Oh this guy just cracks me up.  Another former marine (what is it about me and marines?), he writes the stuff that’s in my head, but that I’m too PC to put on the internet. As I read his posts I find myself alternating between screaming with him and laughing maniacally (and clenching my legs because you know what happens when post-menopausal women laugh).

http://www.lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/crazy-chicks-club-ccc/ – I know, I probably should have been a charter member of the Crazy Chicks Club, but just be happy I recently found them for you. You can kiss my feet later. Better yet, a paraffin pedicure would be a thoughtful ‘thank you.’

http://aprillugod.wordpress.com/  – When I’m in one of those dude-get-out-of-my-face-before-I -rip-off-your-head-and-use-it-for-a-bowling-ball moods (oh wait a minute, I don’t bowl; might break a nail) this is the place I visit to regain my balance, celebrate my solitude and be thankful for my blissfully testosterone-free existence.

http://wellshutmymouth.com –  Seriously, I can’t understand why I – portrait of humility and clean language — would so love a blog written by a woman with an incredibly high opinion of herself and an equally foul mouth. Momma needs a new bar of soap. And you need to check out this source of fabulous feminine humor. 

http://www.whydoesitbotherme.wordpress.com – This one is very simple – just a glimpse into a young woman’s life abroad.  Sometimes she’s on a rant, other times she simply makes me think. I never know what each post will bring — except a smile to my face.

http://www.theduchessguide.com/blog/– I just love it when women know their worth and refuse to discount themselves for the “privilege” of having a man.  Here’s a blog dedicated to “helping women find their fabulous selves.”

http://chellie.com/blog/ – No list of my favorite blogs would be complete without one dedicated to the  ‘mean green’ — after all, I am an accountant.  And I am about the money, honey.  Chellie Campbell’s Financial Stress Reduction is at the top of my list of financial blogs! Not only is she an incredible financial coach, she’s fabulously entertaining  — and she’s one helluva poker player.  Don’t forget my 20%!

http://arboresquecoaching.tumblr.com/ – Starting a road trip toward what you hope will be a successful business with no clue as to what route to take? Make a wrong turn and need a search party to guide you back? Stuck by the side of the road with no fuel in your tank?  Girl, have I got roadside assistance for you!  Incredible business coaching — and fun reading.

Thanks again, Pete. I’m truly honored by your nomination.

And I had a blast!

It’s Love? Really?

George and his entourage have traveled on horseback for three very long days to take their place at this table. The Smiths have waited years for these talks and are anxious to seal the deal.  After the expected hours of haggling, the trade is made.

The family will accept George’s herd of goats, forty acres of prime farm land, two mules and a sack of gold in exchange for their daughter, the lovely Liza Beth. George, in turn, promises to keep her in the manner to which her father has accustomed her for as long as she lives.

Valuable consideration is exchanged for valuable consideration and George and the Smiths Liza Beth have a valid contract marriage.

When did marriage become about love/romance/flowers/De Beers instead of business? And why – if money is not a consideration in marriage – is it the number one cause of divorce? Could it be that money – although silent – is nonetheless one of the most important terms of the contract after all?

Think about it. Cinderella-with-stars-in-her-eyes and the handsome Prince Charming are about to head down the aisle when her fairy godmother pulls her aside.

“Sistah, let me tell you what I saw in my crystal ball.   The minute you say ‘I do,’ Charmin’ is gonna quit his job with his daddy the king, lay down his sword,  park his ass on the sofa, shove his hands down his tighty-whities and watch TV. You’ll get one job typing during the day, and another waiting tables at night so you can keep the Bud flowin’ and pay the mortgages on the castle. Oh, and between jobs you can clean up after him and the kids, cook and keep his endings happy. I’m just sayin’ honey.”

I’ll bet you my most expensive glass Manolos His not-so-Highness will be left standing there – wondering what happened – in the cloud of dust that was Cindy.

Am I advocating that we go back to the days when our parents decided our value and sold us to the highest bidder?

Absolutely not! But I am saying that if we’re looking for happily-ever-after, we dare not overlook the financial aspect of any commitments to which we might consider obligating ourselves.

Unlike size, money matters.